Category Archives: Humor

Links, quotes, and funny pictures.

Magic Beanstalk Seeks Empty Lot, Promises Golden Egg

Looking for a place to plant my Magic Beanstalk!

Date: 2012-12-07, 2:55PM

I have been given some magic beanstalk seeds and I am in need of a safe 3-9 month long rental to plant them. My current hoa does not allow me to plant anything (magic beanstalks aren’t on their list of approved lawn ornamentation) so I’m not really looking to “move” as I already have a home I just need someplace I can plant these seeds without concern for how the landlord will react to a several thousand foot vine growing in the back yard. Since I have never grown them before nor can I say with absolute certainty how long this adventure will take me I would like to find a 3-9 month long rental but I will try to be flexible. I may even be open to staying longer than 9 months if the situation works out and you would be open to accepting golden eggs in leu (sic) of rent, otherwise I can just go home and start blogging about my adventures.

So if you’re open minded (don’t read that as new aged hippie but it’s fine if you are) and easy going (don’t read that as pot smoker although that’s fine if you are but I’m not) and have something that you think will work out for me please let me know and we can talk logistics. I AM NOT looking for any shared living situations and you CAN NOT climb on my beanstalk, those are my only two stipulations, otherwise, I’m pretty darn flexible.

Call or text me at (52O) 3399-xxx so that we can talk more and I can make sure you aren’t a crazy person.

  • Location: Tucson
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Original URL: http://tucson.craigslist.org/sbw/3462743263.html (and a screenshot for posterity).

I can’t stop laughing! I learned of this wondrously far-fetched Craigslist ad through the ever observant folks at the Tucson Weekly. Their breakdown of the listing is hysterical. I even think this ad tops the Magic Wand listing that hit Portland’s Craigslist a few years back.

A good laugh is just what we needed. Post on, merry prankster!

Peccary Paint Job

Woke up one wet September morning to find our front yard had been mucked up by marauding Javelinas (aka Collared Peccaries). Rocks flipped, cactuses chomped, holes dug, and plants eaten – what a muddy mess!

As we made repairs and salvaged plants we noticed that our visitors had found another way to leave their mark. With their muddy snouts they painted dots and swooshes on our metal coyote. Pretty creative, eh?

I dunno about you but I kinda like it! And lucky us, we’ll get to enjoy it until the next big rain…

(Photo was taken two weeks after actual event, hence the dry ground.)

When in Doubt…Mumble!

Lance has elevated his mumbling skills to an art form over the years. He doesn’t do it often but boy, when he does!

For example:
Me, “Hey, Lance do you know what happened to the gummy bears?”
“Hmmm, gummy bears? Well, mfbnwdjnsmmmmmm…”
“Huh? Lance, what was that?”

By the way, this technique seems to work best when walking away from the other person. (wink)

Keg Parking Only

During our travels we’ve stopped off at a few breweries, some huge but mostly the smaller craft or micro varieties. Most of the places have a certain amount of shall we say, character. Stone Brewing Company in San Diego, California is no different. This sign was prominently placed out in the parking lot, right next to the more typical handicap parking area. They do have their priorities!