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It’s that time of year when holiday baking begins in earnest. So we thought we’d post this recipe for fantastic fruit cake. One can never have too many good recipes…

World’s Greatest Fruit Cake

Ingredients:
1 c. water
1 c. sugar
4 large eggs
2 c. dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 c. brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle whiskey

This is very easy to make. Assemble all ingredients, be sure you have enough counter space.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Grab a large bowl. To be sure the whiskey is of highest quality, pour one cup and drink.

Repeat process.

Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp sugar, one cup baking soda and give it a beating. Check the whiskey again. Turn off the mix machine thingy.

Add two whole leggs to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. When the fruits gets stuck in the beaterers, pry ‘em loose with a drewscriver.

Check whiskey more for tonsisticity. Shtir in two cups of salt. Or something white. Pour another cup of whiskey, use both hands so you don’t spill. Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or whatever you have handy.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to time the setter. Aw, heck save time and put it where it would end up anyway: in the garbage. Except the whiskey. Finish the whiskey, and crawl to bed.

Disclaimer: We came across this recipe in Seattle this summer, and figured we could all use a good laugh right about now.